Weekend Writing Warriors And the Fire Burns DANCER OF THE NILE

better wewriwaContinuing on with DANCER OF THE NILE for a few more weeks…last week we had a moment of humor as Nima the Dancer and Kamin gthe Warrior were escaping their captors. This snippet today is from further on in the book, after “some events” (no spoilers!). They’re holed up in a cave, waiting for nightfall before they travel onward. Nima is dreaming about the night she was captured:

               Cherry-colored flames with yellow and violet cores crackling everywhere, above and below. The blackened roof timbers groaned, glowing from the inside out. How much longer would they hold? Small pieces were falling away each moment, burning embers igniting new blazes wherever they fell. Wind generated by the fire itself blew sparks in a mad whirl.

Her skin hot, dry as the desert to the point of pain. I’m baking alive.

                The screams from every direction had stopped or were muffled by the roaring flames….she couldn’t stay where she was, but if she broke cover and ran, the attackers would see her. 

(A small historical note here – the Egyptians are generally agreed not to have eaten cherries until Roman times. I decided since Nima danced on a circuit in all the border towns, she might have seen them 1200 years before Rome got there…or not LOL. I do take a few deliberate liberties with my Ancient Egyptian time frame.)

fire by moniquef12

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The story:

Egypt, 1500 BCE

Nima’s beauty and skill as a dancer leads an infatuated enemy to kidnap her after destroying an Egyptian border town. However, she’s not the only hostage in the enemy camp: Kamin, an Egyptian soldier on a secret mission for Pharaoh, has been taken as well. Working together to escape, the two of them embark on a desperate quest across the desert to carry word of the enemy’s invasion plans to Pharaoh’s people.

As they flee for their lives, these two strangers thrown together by misfortune have to trust in each other to survive.  Nima suspects Kamin is more than the simple soldier he seems, but she finds it hard to resist the effect he has on her heart.  Kamin has a duty to his Pharaoh to see his mission completed, but this clever and courageous dancer is claiming more of his loyalty and love by the moment. Kamin starts to worry, if it comes to a choice between saving Egypt or saving Nima’s life…what will he do?

Aided by the Egyptian god Horus and the Snake Goddess Renenutet, beset by the enemy’s black magic, can Nima and Kamin evade the enemy and reach the safety of the Nile in time to foil the planned attack?

Can there ever be a happy future together for the humble dancer and the brave Egyptian soldier who is so much more than he seems?

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27 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors And the Fire Burns DANCER OF THE NILE

  1. Wow, great imagery, Veronica. I would take out “or were muffled by” and replace it with “the screams stopped, muffled by” – make the decision for the reader to get rid of the passive voice and make it more bold. Nicely done. 🙂

  2. Incredible description, Veronica! I actually felt like I was there, experiencing this right along with her. Terrifying and brilliant. Well done!

  3. Great, chilling detail, Veronica. And I can relate to your note about the cherries. I, too, find it a challenge sometimes to balance history with fiction. Liberties must be taken, IMO. 🙂

  4. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire!

    It takes some guts to stay in that kind of punishing heat, hope she continues to use that bravery to good end in evading recapture.

  5. Out of the fire and into the firing squad? Tough choice!

    And very interesting factoid about the cherries—the depth of your research is terrific!

  6. Thanks for the encouraging comments, glad the scene worked…yes, Nima wakes up from the nightmare to find Kamin reassuringly close by. (Although the dream is her memory of the actual events.) Not sure what snippet to offer from the novel next week but I do think we’ll stay with Nima awhile longer.

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