Much as I miss the Six Sentence Sunday weekly blog hop, I’m happy to report there are several new possibilities going on for posting and reading weekly excerpts in an organized fashion!
This week I’m going to post 8 sentences from WRECK OF THE NEBULA DREAM, my science fiction adventure with romantic elements, which received an SFR Galaxy Award this past week for “Best Disaster Rewrite”! (I’m still beaming, can you tell?)
The ship has suffered an unknown accident in the middle of the night and Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson, traveling aboard the Dream as a passenger, is trying to get panicked civilians aboard the lifeboats on Level Three, all the while worrying about Mara Lyrae, the businesswoman he’s very much attracted to. She arrives in the corridor, asking for help. The excerpt starts after she’s explained about the two children trapped in a cabin near hers. I did a tiny bit of condensing to make the excerpt work as eight sentences:
He’d been prepared to search the entire ship for her if necessary, but now here she was.
After hearing about trapped children, Nick knew he’d stay on board as long as it took to free them. “Tell me exactly where on the Second Level and I’ll go. You get in this LB.” Nick reached out to take her by the arm, intending to guide her through the portal.
“No,” she said, taking a hasty step away, shaking her head vehemently. “I promised that little boy I’d come for them myself, as soon as I found their father, or someone. If you’re going to help me with this, then we have to hurry.”
The story:
Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.
All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.
But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?
I love and appreciate your comments and feedback! Go here to find all the other Weekend Writing Warriors and read a variety of excerpts…
Nice tense action here. You’ve got a knack for writing page turners!
Very tense. I like that Mara doesn’t let him boss her around and that she’s going to fulfil her promise to the children, shows she’s got guts 🙂
Congratulations on your award. Please tell me you rocked a happy dance with that smile. Come on, you know you want to, lol.
I love the tension in this excerpt and I still love this cover.
Thank you! I was SO excited all day and the next day too….thanks for the kind words about the cover (gotta love Fiona Jayde, the artist who created it for me).
I like her sense of responsibility and the way the two of them interact with one another. Nice snippet!
Congratulations on the SFR award, Veronica! I loved the strength she showed standing up to him. Nicely done and pretty cover! 🙂
Congrats on the SRF award. That’s awesome. The cover’s fab, too!
Congrats on the award. I can tell from your snippet your hero is a take charge kind of guy and your heroine, no swooning damsel in distress. Nice. 🙂
I like these characters already. i can see why you won the award. This book sounds like a winner.
Tense scene, with both characters well drawn.
OK, I bought it. Hope I have time to read it!
Oh thank you very much! I hope you’ll enjoy the book :-), when there’s time!
I love the concept behind this book, Veronica. 😀 And congrats on your award!
Wow! the tension is strong. I loved it and it hooked me in. I could feel it strong. Great Scene. 🙂 Can’t wait to read what happens next.
Fast paced and exciting. You drew this reader into the scene with the first few words. Thanks.
I like the sense of urgency this snippet has. Very nice job, Veronica 🙂
I like that she won’t back down, even when her life is in danger. Strength of character. Sounds like she’s a good fit with him. Great snippet!
I like that she’s insisting on going back. It will make the children feel a lot better to have someone they at least recognize.
Congratulations on the award! Well done!
I love all the layers you put in to build tension and emotion. The drifting ship abandoned by its crew in enemy territory is an especially haunting image, and the hero trying to overcome his past makes the plot riveting.
I really appreciate all the comments and people taking the time to stop by! I’ve been out checking the various excerpt-sharing websites all day, trying to find everyone….
I like the premise and the sentences very much! And the best part is that I don’t have to wait to read the rest!
Your heroine seems like a real “take charge” sort, Good for her and what an interesting story! Congratulations on your award and I wish you much success.
Congrats on the award. That’s wonderful.
Congratulations on the award! I really like the premise of this story and her determination to stay the course no matter what.
Great eight, Veronica! I can feel the tension and anxiety of the characters! 🙂
I like Captain Nick! Congrats on the award. Woot! Yikes–how my TBR list is growing. 🙂 Nice snippet, Veronica 🙂
There is always a sceptic in me as I read. I am wondering at your heroine’s motive. Is she really concerned about the children? Why does she want to go with him? Yes, I know she told us about the boy. I hope that is correct. I’m going to keep reading.
I always appreciate a Reader who looks below the surface, doesn’t necessarily take things at face value! But in this case yes, Mara genuinely is concerned for the children. There are a couple of scenes earlier on in the book where the casual acquaintance between her and the children is made clear, as well as the fact that Nick also has met them. AND that Nick and Mara are attracted to each other, although nothing has happened between them *yet*. Disaster hits the ship pretty early in the cruise…
We’re going to be issuing the audio book of WRECK soon BTW – Michael Riffle, the actor who narrates, “gets” Nick *perfectly*. He does a terrific job with the rest of the characters too but he just IS Nick. Thanks again to everyone for the comments and congratulations today – MUCH appreciated!
Excellent build-up of tension – right from the first line. Congratulations on the award!
I like this! The premise is cool and even in that short snippet, the characters are well-realized. Looking forward to more!
Congratulations!!! And very well done.
Love the excerpt. A promise is a promise and if there are 2 kids then they need to carry one each.