What Will Nima Do? DANCER OF THE NILE Weekend Writing Warriors

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Continuing on with my paranormal romance set in ancient Egypt…Nima and Kamin have been captured by a caravan master who plans to sell them to the pursuing enemy. Nima challenges the man to a game of senet, with her life and Kamin’s as the stakes and a blood oath between herself and the caravan master that they’ll each honor the outcome. Ptahnetamun, the caravan master, brings out a gameboard and they play, with Kamin, all the caravan workers and many of the caravan passengers watching. Nima won, which we saw last week…and Ptahnetamun is a man of his word, so he grudgingly admits her victory. This next scene is at dinner, after a performance by a troupe of dancers traveling with the caravan. Nima joined them for part of the dance. Ptahnetamun is speaking as she rejoins Kamin and him. He’s offered her a contract and is the first speaker in the excerpt:

 “I travel in and out of Egypt all the time. You could dance abroad for a few years, save your gold and then retire anywhere you chose, in Egypt, Thebes even.” Ptahnetamun nudged her in the ribs. “See the world. Live as a lady of luxury, build a tomb as grand as the queen’s for a good Afterlife, eh?”

             He’s just offered her one of her life’s dreams on a platter. Kamin’s heart sank. Hating himself but reacting with a jealous instinct he didn’t fully understand, angered by the idea of Nima choosing a different road than the one he traveled,  he leaned across her to address their host in disparaging tones, “You forget, we’re hunted by the Hyksos.”

VS sez: The ancient Egyptians had quite a system of contracts and law and there are many surviving records of women doing business, entering into contracts, suing to enforce contract terms in court…


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The story:

Egypt, 1500 BCE

DancerOfTheNile_1600x2400Nima’s beauty and skill as a dancer leads an infatuated enemy to kidnap her after destroying an Egyptian border town. However, she’s not the only hostage in the enemy camp: Kamin, an Egyptian soldier on a secret mission for Pharaoh, has been taken as well. Working together to escape, the two of them embark on a desperate quest across the desert to carry word of the enemy’s invasion plans to Pharaoh’s people.

As they flee for their lives, these two strangers thrown together by misfortune have to trust in each other to survive.  Nima suspects Kamin is more than the simple soldier he seems, but she finds it hard to resist the effect he has on her heart.  Kamin has a duty to his Pharaoh to see his mission completed, but this clever and courageous dancer is claiming more of his loyalty and love by the moment. Kamin starts to worry, if it comes to a choice between saving Egypt or saving Nima’s life…what will he do?

Aided by the Egyptian god Horus and the Snake Goddess Renenutet, beset by the enemy’s black magic, can Nima and Kamin evade the enemy and reach the safety of the Nile in time to foil the planned attack?

Can there ever be a happy future together for the humble dancer and the brave Egyptian soldier who is so much more than he seems?

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29 comments on “What Will Nima Do? DANCER OF THE NILE Weekend Writing Warriors

  1. Do you know what I love about your snippet? Not only do I get an opportunity to enjoy the great bits you post, but I always end up learning a little about a culture that’s always fascinated me, but which I’ve never had an opportunity to explore. Thanks 🙂

    • TYVM! Sometimes I feel compelled inagoodway to add a little tidbit about ancient Egypt itself so readers won’t feel I’m writing too far outside what could have happened in the 1500 BCE time frame. Well, other than the gods being actively involved in the action and a few other, *minor* things LOL!

  2. Super excerpt, as usual. I thought I’d read somewhere that women could sign contracts. It’s so great to *see* things like that, shown so plausibly. Of course now we’re all on pins and needles waiting for her response!

    I forgot to sign up but I posted. At least my excuse is, I was writing 🙂

  3. Excellent snippet, Veronica! The conflict is easily picked up even in just eight sentences. Well done!

    And thanks for the additional info about the time period. I love learning about history!

  4. I love Kanin’s reaction. We get his emotion, but he reveals nothing. I love that he responds with a reasoned explanation for why she shouldn’t accept the offer instead of letting his jealousy show.

  5. Aww, poor, jealous Kamin. What a tough decision Nima has ahead of her, though. So anxious to see her response! Another fabulous excerpt, Veronica! 🙂

  6. I have the impression Nima isn’t going to like the way Kamin reacted even if he hid his jealousy well. She’s probably quite aware that they’re being hunted and she can’t accept the offer. (All wild guesses here…LOL) I’m intrigued as always. Great snippet, Veronica!

  7. Thanks for taking time to visit today and comment! I really appreciate the feedback…next week I’ll post at least part of Nima’s reaction. Let’s just say it all plays out over the next few days they travel with the caravan…but there’s a lot more plot to unravel before the HEA. At some point I’ll stop running Nima snippets and switch to excerpts from my new Egyptian paranormal, which hopefully will be out in February. But I’ll give you all fair warning…happy holidays!

  8. I love, love, love, love, LOVE Kamin’s reaction here. On one hand, I’m sure he wants Nima to have everything she’s ever wanted. On the other, he probably doesn’t want her to have it without him in there, somewhere. It’s a human dilemma most of us face in some form or another at some point in our lives. Great eight, as always!

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