A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
So we’ve moved on to the newly Released MAGIC OF THE NILE, which is the sequel to the book I had been sharing excerpts from. I’ll just jump in with the first eight sentences for now (and have played with the punctuation to make it eight sentences. I think!):
Patience running thin, Tyema tried in vain to focus on the endless details her head crocodile keeper Hotepre was only too eager to share. Proper care for Sobek’s animals was her responsibility as high priestess but the god didn’t expect her to know about every chipped tooth and broken claw.
“Did you want to inspect the new clutch of eggs?” Hotepre asked as they left the pond where promising juvenile crocodiles were kept.
Glancing at the sun sinking over the Nile, she shook her head, saying, “I’d intended to, but the ceremonies ran long today – we had so many petitioners. Can I see the eggs tomorrow?”
“Of course, my lady.” Hotepre’s frown deepened the wrinkles on his aged face as they climbed the gravel path from the ponds, winding up the cliff where the temple itself was located, “Are you going to the festival in town tonight?”
As always, I love your comments and feedback. Although this is a published work, the input helps for the future novels…
Here’s the story blurb:
The standalone sequel to Priestess of the Nile…picks up about fifteen years later and tells the tale of Tyema, who was the younger sister in Priestess of the Nile…
After a childhood spent scorned and ignored by her family because of her crippled foot, Tyema was magically healed then installed as the High Priestess of his temple by Sobek the Crocodile God. But Tyema is still haunted by her memories, scarred by the abuse she endured. Despite Sobek’s protection, as an adult she’s become a near recluse inside the temple grounds…
Until Captain Sahure arrives in her remote town, sent from Thebes on an urgent mission for Pharaoh, requiring High Priestess Tyema’s help. From that moment on, her quiet, safe life is upended in ways she never could have expected.
But after a whirlwind romance with Sahure, the two part as Pharaoh orders him to undertake another assignment on Egypt’s dangerous frontier, far from Tyema’s remote town.
Heart-broken, Tyema is ready to return to her life of loneliness, official duties and, now, regret. But the Crocodile God has other plans for his priestess: she must uncover the sorcerer who threatens Pharaoh’s life with black magic. Soon enough, Tyema finds herself thrown into the chaos of Pharoah’s court, neck deep in intrigue and danger. Just when she thinks she can’t take the pressures of a very public court life and her secret investigation for the Crocodile God any longer, Sahure re-enters the scene.
But is her former love there to help or to hinder? Can they resolve their differences and work together to find the dark sorcerer who threatens Pharaoh and Egypt? Will the love between a proud warrior and a shy priestess lead them to a future together?
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Are the crocodiles being reared as sacrifices, or what?
Yes, they generally kept a pond of crocodiles at the temples, in honor of Sobek, living representations of the god. Raised in luxury, they were typically mummified at death.
A promising start!
Hotepre doesn’t seem very please by her answer.
He thinks she spends too much time at the temple and needs to get out more, basically…but there are reasons she doesn’t socialize much.
This opening works for me! There’s some clear but subtle tension between the two characters, and all kinds of questions about the setting & world. Your characters always seem like people you want to have a long talk with at a coffeehouse 🙂
Good start to this. I enjoyed the dialogue exchange. You really love Ancient Egypt and i’m curious to know how you go about researching this subject; I might write a historical novel like this one day. Good snippet!
I’m actually doing a post on April 7th about how I researched some of this book…it’ll be on Eleri Stone’s blog. I’ll tweet a link on the 7th.
I love the way you set the scene and give us a glimpse into the character’s emotions. Crocodile wrangling – I love it!
Marcia’s comments are much like the one’s I was about to make. I also love ‘his frown deepened the age wrinkled lines’. Yum. What a description!
I think you did a great job of conveying his disappointment and deference in just a change of expression. You are awesome!
You’ve made the exotic world of Crocodile Gods and Pharaohs very real with this dialogue. Well done!
Reblogged this on Illuminite Caliginosus.
I’m always so honored – thank you!
Wonderful start. I like the premise of the new story. Well done, I’m definitely intrigued by her!
I love how you set the scene, and the mention of the clutch of eggs. As an animal-lover, that sounds like a job I’d like!
Hmmm…the opening words make me wonder if her impatience will lead to trouble eventually? It occurs to me that a god might very well expect her to pay attention to the little details 🙂
Great opening, and so much characterization from just a few sentences.
Your opening made me want to know more about the crocodiles, the high priestess, and the festival. Will she go? Good beginning.
Great snippet, you managed to convey her dissatisfaction with her station in life. It seems that the head crocodile keeper disapproves of her priorities.
I’m so excited about this book! And I love how you balance magic and reality—even the high priestesses have time management issues! 😀
Well, yes LOL. An Egyptian temple was a big business, in addition to the purely religious aspects.Lots for Tyema to oversee!
Wonderful as always, Veronica! You have such a knack for telling a story that hooks you in right from the start! 🙂
Nice job with drawing in the reader 🙂
Exactly what I was thinking Sarah W.! The reality elements are mixed in so well, I can’t help but go along with the rest as true. Well done.
The Murders of Polly Frisch
Great beginning. I enjoyed the banter and can’t wait for more. You always bring your world alive in these small snippets. Well done!!
Hmmm…will she run into her former lover at the festival?
Nice scene, great detail and an interesting plot! Love it!
Great opening. I am interested and want to know more.
I’m glad you all aren’t getting bored with my take on ancient Egypt yet! Thanks for all the comments – I’m happy the opening worked for people. She’s going to meet Sahure, the hero, for the first time in a few sentences. I might skip ahead to that next week, interesting punctuation and all.
I never would have thought I would love books set in ancient Egypt, but I’m totally hooked on these books. Wonderful snippet. Excellent description.
This is a great start. I love your Egyptian books.
I’m curious to know why her patience is running thin. Keeping track of a bunch of animals sounds like a lot of work. Nice flow to the sentences!
Interesting start…from the blurb and the these first lines, I’m interested in seeing how she moves forward.
She;s feeling rather trapped by life at the moment, but it’s her own doing…
Great way to set a scene. So many wonderful details that make you want to know more about the world.
Every chipped tooth and broken claw? Yeah, I’d find that level of detail tedious, too. Hotepre sounds like a bundle of laughs.
I liked this intro, with it describing something (crocodile raising) that I had no idea about. Sure, I’ve learned about the pyramids of Egypt, but you’ve introduced us to other parts of this world.
I love the way you write, Veronica. The short snippet has pulled me right into their world. Clearly Hotepre is not too pleased with her and she doesn’t seem comfortable around him, either.
Definitely curious to learn more about the crocodiles and the sacrifices. Very intriguing concept.