A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
Doing excerpts from my soon-to-be published science fiction romance WIP, Mission to Mahjundar…Princess Shalira has maneuvered her father the emperor into insisting the hero, Major Mike Varone of the Sectors Special Forces, and his companion, must accompany her on a journey. Mike’s not exactly pleased. Shalira is speaking. (Creative punctuation has occurred.)
“At the presentation ceremony, did the minister ask if you’d be willing to ride in my
caravan?”
“Ask? More of a threat.” Mike knew his frustration was showing, “Ride with you or else my own mission gets cancelled.”
“And you don’t sound pleased – I wish I could have made the request myself.” She nibbled on a cracker, brushing crumbs from her lap.
“Forgive me, Your Highness, but why do you want us to go with you?” Setting his glass on the table, he leaned forward. “I’m on an urgent mission – your route causes me quite a delay, which I can’t afford without good reason.”
She’s going to give him a good reason, of course.
The story:
An attempted assassination left Princess Shalira blind as a child and, now that she’s of marriageable age, her prospects are not good because of her disability. She’s resigned herself to an arranged marriage rather than face life under the thumb of her cold stepmother. But then she meets Mike Varone, a Sectors Special Forces officer sent to Mahjundar by the intergalactic government. After Mike saves Shalira from another assassination attempt, she arranges for him to escort her across the planet to her future husband. She’s already falling hard for the deadly offworlder and knows she should deny herself the temptation he represents, but taking Mike along to protect her is the only way she’ll live long enough to escape her ruthless stepmother.
Mike, for his part, resists his growing attraction to the princess; he has a mission on this planet and rescuing the vulnerable but brave princess isn’t it. No matter how much he wishes it could be.
But what should have been an easy trek through Mahjundar’s peaceful lands swiftly turns into an ambush with danger around every turn. Shalira’s marriage begins to seem less like an arranged union and more like yet another planned assassination. The more they work together to survive, the harder it becomes to stop themselves from falling in love. Caught in a race against time, can they escape the hostile forces hunting them and make it off the planet?
Can there be a future for a simple soldier and an intergalactic princess?
(Still working on the blurb…)
As always, I love your comments and feedback.
I’ve a feeling he won’t stay annoyed at her for long.
Intriguing. Looking forward to her reasons. 🙂
He is very calm in his annoyance! Eager to see what happens next.
I like her demeanor. You set it up nicely. Look forward to reading more.
Great dialogue, and the tension between the two is palpable. Nicely done!
I like that he can be honest with her and she seems unflustered by it. I predict great things for these two.
Somehow I think her answer is going to sway him to her side. He’s a reasonable man, even when he’s being stubborn about his mission (I hope)
Sounds like there’s going to be lots of sparks between these two! Great snippet,
He’ll have to be patient and wait for her response! Nice scene.
I like that Mike is very candid with the Princess. I’m sure she’s used to people always saying the proper things because of her title. Mike tells it like it is, but is still respectful of her title.
I like her already. So much has happened to her and she’s still holding her head up high.
I can feel his frustration at the situation. Nice 8.
She’s clever and gets what she wants. The cover pic shows it. Terrific dialogue. He’s polite but underneath, I sense he wants to smack her one for delaying his important mission. Thanks, Veronica.
Ooh, nice setup. Lots of tension built right in:)
I bet she’ll give him a reason he can’t refuse!
Loving the tension between them. What a way to start. 🙂
I like these two characters already. I can’t wait to see what reason she gives him.
Love this complete nonchalance between them, and the bit about the cracker and the crumbs. It both adds real detail and emphasizes the lack of interest between them. Of course, that won’t last for long. 🙂 Great snippet!
Thanks for the comments – always much appreciated! I sent the book to the formatter this afternoon, so hopefully will be able to release it within two weeks, I’ll keep doing excerpts for a while…there is a lot standing between Mike and Shalira and an HEA for sure.
Wonderful tension and just a hint of arrogance showing in both of them. It should make the sparks fly when they really have to work together.
He seems a bit grumpy, but he has a good reason. Now the question is–is he reasonable enough to buy her explanation, or will he stay grumpy?
Good tension, Veronica. You’ve done a stellar job of showing his frustration. 🙂
Nice characterisation. Mike is blunt. Impatient. Princess lady is more subtle, elegant. Conveyed in dialogue, over a short space of eight sentences. Good stuff
Can’t wait to see what Shalira’s reasons are. I’m sure Mike will still be annoyed, but I don’t see that lasting. Great snippet!
Of course she’ll give him a good reason! We are dying to know exactly what she says! You always pull readers in fast with characters we can relate to. No matter the time period or setting, they’re very *human*. I love that about your writing.
If he’s any type of hero at all, he’s gonna be glad he gets to come along for the ride! Looking forward to hearing her reply : )
Can’t wait to find out her reason. I’m sure it’ll be good. 🙂
She is very regal and calm, and perhaps (at least outwardly) a tad spoiled as a princess “should be”. Nice low-key interaction between them that hides much of the tension. Nicely done.
The subtle move of her wiping the crumbs off her lip – very catching.
Great set-up and tension. I have to share something funny tho 😉 When I first read ‘presentation ceremony’ I somehow read it as ‘penetration ceremony’ and I thought…hmmm, this could take an erotic turn 😛
I’m sure he can spare a bit of time for her.
Oh-oh, he is not a happy space cadet;). Great dialogue and tension. Can’t wait for her response.
Hum, I’m sure she’ll give him some good reasons… Love that she seems so collected even though he’s so annoyed.
Fun snippet. I really liked their back and forth! With “Mike knew his frustration was showing” consider showing his body language or facial expression.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta