Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…A fun way to sample new books and find new writers!
We’re onto a new story of mine, a WIP that still needs a lot of work. Mark, an ex-Special Forces soldier in the Sectors, has been hired by the Outlier Empress to rescue a kidnap victim who’s been taken to the border planet Freemarket, where anything goes and the authorities are usually hands off. Kind of like Las Vegas…he’s broken into the kidnapper’s house, persuaded Alessandra to go with him and fled in a stolen car, pursued by the bad guys and the planetary police. They collided with a cargo hauler…Mark knocked the driver out and assisted Alessandra from their wrecked vehicle, after which the couple flee into the crowded marketplace… I skipped a bit of description. (Creative punctuation has occurred):
As they ducked under a row of baskets to cut into the next aisle, Mark stopped Sandy before she could take another step, “Cop.”
The local policeman was busy talking into a com while he kept up an unblinking surveillance of the marketplace.
“Searching for us?” she asked, bending over to rub her bruised ankle.
“Probably – and now he’s seen us.” Taking her elbow, Mark pulled her across the narrow space and into the next shop.
They ran past the vendor and his wide-eyed customers, out the rear door, Their pursuer shouted at them to stop. People flowed into the aisle behind them, blocking the lawman’s progress.
I’ll keep going with this sequence for a few more weeks. You may be surprised how it ends…I know Mark and Sandy are!
Exciting snippet! I see an epic chase scene coming up! =D
Lots of action! Are you able to visualize what they’re doing? Can you see it playing out in your head?
Yes, when I write it’s like a movie unspooling in my head usually….thanks for the kind words!
Interesting! I wonder if the crowd in the market has an interest in thwarting law enforcement? Either way, anything that helps the protagonists is a good thing!
Reblogged this on Illuminite Caliginosus- A Spark of Light Within the gloom.
Thanks! I’m honored to be re-blogged 🙂
I can picture this so clearly, the chase, the cops, the escape. It’s a scene from a movie or Homeland on TV and you’ve captured it.
I’m thinking they’ll get away but your comment at the end had me doubting. LoL. This continues the same level of tension from last week. I like your action
I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
Exciting, fast paced snippet!
Great action scene and tension. I can definitely visualize it. 🙂
There’s nothing quite like a great chase scene.
Nice. Anonymous defense. Great snippet, Veronica. 🙂
Hmm, these cops sound like bad guys. Great tension. Love it! 🙂
I love the feel of this- very Indiana Jones-y, even without the description you skipped over. Looking forward to reading more.
Sounds like a great chase scene is coming up. Like how the people closed in and blocked the police.
Exciting snippet. I love the description and the way you’ve built the marketplace. I can see it clearly in my mind. Great 8.
Nice people, blocking the pursuit. They really don’t trust the cops there. Good eight, Veronica!
This scene keeps getting better and better, Veronica—not surprising, since it’s one of yours, but still. 🙂
Very good pacing and scene plotting in this snippet. I followed the action as if I was a part of it. Great writing!
Well, it seems like their plan is working so far. Good luck to them!
A small thing that always bothers me–people can’t really be unblinking for any length of time, unless you alter their biology.
Good point! Of course the policeman could be an alien or a robot LOL….this is definitely still a WIP so I’ll keep that in mind for the edits. Thanks!
Lots of action. I love a good chase scene.
Love the fast-paced action-packed sequence! I hope it ends in a kiss and that’s the big surprise! 😉 Awesome work, Veronica!
The excitement is really getting going! I love the premise. “…Freemarket, where anything goes…” Well, that sets the story up for all kinds of fun, 😉 Good 8, Veronica!
Yes, I have the feeling I’m going to be using Freemarket more than once in my ongoing connected Sectors series. A fun place all right…thanks, Teresa!
Very exciting chase scene. I like how you’re pacing it with small breaks in-between bursts of action.
What a scene! Loved the excitement of the escape. 🙂 Great imagery!
I loved the suspense of if the cop would notice them or not. Great realistic dialogue and I like how you show body language. The only suggestion: consider showing her facial expression when she asks “Searching for us?” to show if she’s scared, cocky they won’t get caught, etc.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta