Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…A fun way to sample new books and find new writers!
We’re onto a new story of mine, a WIP that still needs a lot of work. Mark, an ex-Special Forces soldier in the Sectors, has been hired by the Outlier Empress to rescue a kidnap victim who’s been taken to the border planet Freemarket, where anything goes and the authorities are usually hands off. Kind of like Las Vegas…he’s broken into the house of Barent Kliin, the kidnapper, persuaded Alessandra to go with him and fled in a stolen car, pursued by the bad guys and the planetary police. They collided with a cargo hauler…Mark knocked the driver out and assisted Alessandra from their wrecked vehicle, after which the couple flee into the crowded marketplace but are now trapped…(Creative punctuation has occurred):
“The parking garage is probably locked down too.” He couldn’t believe he’d failed on this mission he cared more about than anything he’d ever done for the Sectors. Preoccupied, trying to think of other options for escape, he didn’t notice the small being approaching until it stopped in front of him.
Assessing the sentient’s pointed face and triangular, gray furred ears, the wide yellow flecked eyes, he wasn’t sure what he was dealing with. Nothing he’d encountered previously. Waving his blaster, Mark tried to shoo the being away for its own good.
Not intimidated, the newcomer clutched his sleeve with four curved claws. “Come with me – I know what you need but you must make haste.”
Nice description of the sentient, I’m enjoying this story!
Love the sentient. Send it-him or her right over. A bit of relief from his intense escape.
The little being sounds like he?? she?? it?? is going to be a lot of help.
Love the photo of the nebula – what a beautiful one.
ooo nice excerpt! An unknown, unexpected creature that could be helpful or harmful. Gotta make a snap decision but what’s the right thing to do? You always stop at cliff-hangers!
Yup, I seem to be addicted to the cliffhanger ending for these snippets!
Love the creature and the mystery we were left off with. Great job hooking us!
I’d be freaked out if a creature like that appeared before me, seeing as I’ve had alien-phobia since seeing a creepy, terrifying Time Life commercial about aliens when I was eight years old.
That’s a beautiful picture of outer space.
Love it! Take its help! Can’t wait to see where this leads.
Me thinks that timely help comes with an interesting price.
Ohhh, I wonder if this sentient is friend or foe…love the worlbuilding and the way his emotions flow into the snippet. I can’t wait to read this in full;).
Thanks, Tina! The book is a long way from being ready to publish, but at least the first draft is done, which is something. Needs a lot of revisions….at least posting every week for WeWriWa is making me work on editing and fixing this sequence I’m excerpting!
What an interesting twist! I guess he doesn’t have much choice other than to trust the creature. I’ll be very interested to see where it leads them.
The action plot keeps getting better. Loved your flow of pacing. 🙂
I like how he tries to shoo the thing away for its own good and yet it’s there to help him.
Well, thankfully Mark has a blaster in case the sentient tries to turn on him. I say, lead the way! 😀
I get tense every time I read the snippets from this story. LOL. I’m enjoying it very much
Ooooh, will he trust the sentient? He might not have an option…great snippet, Veronica’s!
Thanks for all the comments, glad everyone is enjoying the story (sorry to make you tense, Michelle, I took that as a high compliment though 🙂 Yes, Mark and Sandy are really in a tough situation and out of options…some more developments to go in this scene, so a few more weeks of excerpts.
I love the term “sentient”—much less insulting than “creature”. It says a lot about the culture, or even just the hero.
Your mind is an amazing place, Veronica! 🙂
I’m just joining the story and wow, what a place to come in! Great sense of urgency and excellent description of the sentient. Can’t wait for more!
Excellent. I loved this. It was so visual.
I hope this new being in on their side. Sounds cute. But cute can also be dangerous.
Terrific detail and description here, Veronica, love it!
Definitely and interesting being latching onto his clothes. I hope he’ll get some real help, he can use it!
Enjoyed this! I love all the action in the storyline. Kinda like Las Vegas! 🙂
I’m with what others have said: I like the mix of action, emotion and description. It’s well-balanced to pin our hopes of the sentient. Love it!
Intriguing snippet. Friend or foe?
Cliff hanger lol. Can’t wait to read more.
Aw, it sounds cute! But more importantly, it sounds helpful!
HE sounds like a cute little thing. Hope it really wants to help.
A mysterious newcomer on the scene. Nice twist.
Nice 8!
An unknown entity sent to help him. I’m intrigued.
Oh my gosh, this line got me, “Not intimidated, the newcomer clutched his sleeve with four curved claws.” Eek, this guy sounds scary! Great eight!
Nicely choreographed scene with great description. Pulled me right in.