Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…A fun way to sample new books and find new writers!
We’re onto a new story of mine, a WIP that still needs a lot of work. Mark, an ex-Special Forces soldier in the Sectors, has been hired by the Outlier Empress to rescue a kidnap victim who’s been taken to the border planet Freemarket, where anything goes and the authorities are usually hands off. Kind of like Las Vegas…he’s broken into the house of Barent Kliin, the kidnapper, persuaded Alessandra to go with him and fled in a stolen car, pursued by the bad guys and the planetary police. They collided with a cargo hauler…Mark knocked the driver out and assisted Alessandra from their wrecked vehicle, after which the couple flee into the crowded marketplace but are now trapped…until a strange little being showed up, offering to help…having no choice, Mark and Sandy flee with the creature:
(If you’re looking for my SFRB Showcase excerpt, which is a different thing, please go here.)
A hue and cry arose behind them.
Mark glanced back, stumbling over refuse on the path. Their odd guide didn’t pause, increasing the pace until the two humans could hardly keep up. Around a corner, through a narrow passageway, past a blur of staring citizens, doubling back occasionally, they ran. All at once their guide darted sideways, into a dark purple tent, and stopped. The sudden change in direction, followed by the unexpected end to the journey, took Mark and Sandy by surprise. She tripped on his heel, bringing them both down in a heap, tangled with their guide. Mark lay helpless on the carpeted floor, watching in astonishment as six cops went past the tent’s open portal, never even glancing inside.
So who owns the tent and why didn’t the police look inside? More next time…
Verrry interesting! Though I’m sure they had a few bad moments right after the fall, followed by some intense relief.
Are they being chased by the cops? That’s what I assume. You probably have much writing and revision to do, but when you say the cops “went” I envision them “dashing,” or “rushing.” Went seems a bit mild for the scene.
I like that they fell in a heap. I can picture that so clearly.
The power of a timely trip! Or does the sentient have cloaking powers?
This is so cool, Veronica! 😀
Maybe the tent is invisible. Or they become invisible inside it. That’s how my mind is working this morning. lol. Very exciting scene, Veronica! Can’t wait to learn more! 🙂
Ooh, that scene was action packed! I love it, can’t wait to read more.
Yes. Breathe in and get ready. What a great scene!
Action packed scene. I’m left breathless with anticipation. Lots of possibilities here.
I love that the mysterious tent is purple!
You know me and the color purple LOL!
Oh my, very cool! I so want to find out more about this little creature saving them;).
One tiny niggly question-mostly because I always stumble over that myself: we’re in Marc’s pov, but the way you have it right now “took Mark and Sandy by surprise” makes me think omniscient pov. Just a thought;).
Mysterious purple tent; their guide is helpful. The heap is well discribed.
Thanks for the comments! I appreciate the notes as this is very much a WIP and hasn’t even been through the first round of edits (I kinda edit as I go when putting up these snippets). I might get to this novel later in 2015, as far as getting it released – we’ll see. But I’m happy everyone seems to be enjoying this part of the action!
Oh wonderful! I’m intrigued. I wonder where they’re at and what’s going to happen next. Hopefully what’s in the tent won’t be worse than what’s outside.
I wonder why those cops didn’t glance at the portal? Very intriguing indeed!
Great scene with a good ending! You can really sense the tension as the characters are running. Can’t wait to read more!
Intriguing. Great pace. I was running with them.
I’m with Elyzabeth in worrying about the nature of the rabbit hole they just fell into. Very fun and mysterious. Love the story -impatiently awaiting more!
Oh…the little guy’s good! I loved the description of the stop, culminating in a tangled heap. Excellent, Veronica!
I love these exciting action-adventure scenes. And yes, good question–why don’t the police look into the tent? Does it belong to some high official, or is the Force with them? Can’t wait to find out.
saved by a fall.LOL. I love trying to see how this will end up
Fast paced. Great snippet. Wondering if the tent is invisible.
Cloaking power, maybe? Loved all the action.
A fantastic action packed eight leaving me with many questions. Can’t wait to read more!
Loved the action-packed snippet! I’m intrigued and want to know what’s in the tent.
This snippet has a lot going for it. Action-packed, a fun break in action, and a whole lot of new questions to answer. Very fun!