Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…A fun way to sample new books and find new writers!
We’re onto a new story of mine, a WIP that still needs a lot of work. Mark, an ex-Special Forces soldier in the Sectors, has been hired by the Outlier Empress to rescue a kidnap victim who’s been taken to the border planet Freemarket, where anything goes and the authorities are usually hands off. Kind of like Las Vegas…he’s broken into the house of Barent Kliin, the kidnapper, persuaded Alessandra to go with him and fled in a stolen car, pursued by the bad guys and the planetary police. They collided with a cargo hauler…Mark knocked the driver out and assisted Alessandra from their wrecked vehicle, after which the couple flee into the crowded marketplace but are now trapped…until a strange little being showed up, offering to help…having no choice, Mark and Sandy flee with the creature and fall into a tent. The owner of the tent is an extremely mysterious being, who just prevented him from shooting at their pursuers.
In a heartbeat, the woman in lavender stood where she’d started, on the threshold of the other room. “Accept what is, and move on, our time is short.”
“Mark!“ Sandy’s voice quavered on a note of pure terror as she grabbed his arm to turn him.
Barent Kliin himself stood in the alley, glaring around at the merchandise displays.
Mark took one step toward the exit. Barent would make a valuable hostage, just what they needed to buy their way out of the dead end trap the marketplace had become.
“Leave and you can never return to this spot,” said their mysterious hostess, “This chance comes but once to a Traveler such as yourself.”
Nice eight, very intense!
I can feel so much danger at that market.
So now Mark has to make a choice. Hmmm…
I think he’ll stay, but at what cost? Wonderful.
I love how you set up this scene. I can’t decide which door I want him to go through!
Great tension here! There’s a lot going on but even in short excerpts, it’s easy to follow what’s happening and easy to understand why Sandy and Mark are scared and confused. Really interested to see where this goes 🙂
Uh-oh. What to do?Great, tense snippet.
forget the hostage. Go! LOL. I love where you ended this. Enough of a teaser to want me to know what else
Yikes – do they or don’t they get Kliin. Great hook.
Nice eight! Lots of tension to keep us wondering if the characters will make their choice to escape in time. Great work!
Stay. Stay. Stay.
Great action writing, Veronica! I’m liking this story. It has some twists and turns. 🙂
I think he better stay put. I like the fact that he’s thinking of all the options, but really he needs to listen to the lady in lavender.
Gorgeous photo! I’m a sucker for things that are blue. 🙂
Oooh, I’m torn as well. I really want to see Mark take that guy down, but..the wonders of the universe await! Great job setting us up!
The lady or the tiger. Stay, you fool. Oh Veronica, what a writer you are.
Choices, choices! Difficult to make, but I’m sure it’ll be interesting either way.
Great snippet!
Traveler with a capital-T, hmmm? The plot is thickening into something unexpected, Veronica! 🙂
I love the tension you’re building here. Mysterious choices come with consequences.
Interesting. They’re about to make a choice that will change everything. I assume this is early in the book?
Yes, we’re still quite early in the book, which begins with Mark rescuing Sandy from Kliin, the kidnapper. The majority of the novel tells the story of what happens after the pair make their choice in this tent.
He has to be very desperate to even think of taking a hostage.
Yes, things are extremely dire for them at this point…
What a choice to make! What will it be? Intriguing snippet!
What conflict! Is the little guy some type of time traveler?
Oh man, that truly gives them choices of priorities. Great snippet, Veronica! 🙂
Love the snippet. Tense and filled with detail that makes me want to read on. Great 8.
My one comment would be that Kliin’s appearance took me a little by surprise. I don’t know anything about him yet, so is it part of his character that he would come after her like this?
Yes, it was established earlier in the book that Sandy is Kliin’s key to inheriting the throne of the Outlier Empire (and he doesn’t plan for her to live) so he would be coming after her.
I love the intriguing note it ends on!
You really ramped up the tension. I can’t wait to find what he does.
Can’t wait to see what happens next. Great scene. 🙂
I’m curious to know more about this little being and his role in helping them! Good eight 🙂
He has to stay, but I wonder what his chance will earn him. Probably more trouble!
An interesting parable, stay in a safe place or move on and escape the confines of the marketplace.