Did He Choose Wisely? Weekend Writing Warriors

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Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…A WeWriWa buttonfun way to sample new books and find new writers!

We’re onto a new story of mine, a WIP that still needs a lot of work. Mark, an ex-Special Forces soldier in the Sectors, has been hired by the Outlier Empress to rescue a kidnap victim who’s been taken to the border planet Freemarket, where anything goes and the authorities are usually hands off. Kind of like Las Vegas…he’s broken into the house of  Barent Kliin, the kidnapper, persuaded Alessandra to go with him and fled in a stolen car, pursued by the bad guys and the planetary police. They collided with a cargo hauler…Mark knocked the driver out and assisted Alessandra from their wrecked vehicle, after which the couple flee into the crowded marketplace but are now trapped…until a strange little being showed up, offering to help…having no choice, Mark and Sandy flee with the creature and fall into a tent. The owner of the tent is an extremely mysterious being, who prevented him from shooting at their pursuers. She’s offering them the opportunity to Travel…not in a groundcar or a spaceship…last week she showed them the Globes of Amarkana. Now Mark has to pick one.

Mark kept going back to one particular globe, high on the tree, dangling precariously on its crystal branch. Nothing differentiated this bubble from all the rest but it drew him nonetheless.

When he stretched to touch the globe, it fell into his hand. 

“You’ve chosen, now breathe the air of the destination you’ve selected,” Lajollae said in a harsh whisper, “Make haste, for your time is over – I’m leaving this place for my next station.”

Mark stared at the surprisingly heavy globe in his hand, not sure what she wanted him to do. Breathe the air? Was that what was encapsulated in the shimmering glass – air from somewhere else? How was air going to win them freedom from Kliin’s pursuit?

(Note from me: we’ll see what happens, next week!)


35 comments on “Did He Choose Wisely? Weekend Writing Warriors

  1. I would be worried about some kind of hallucinogenic vapor, lol… I guess that breathing the air in he will go to a place? I’d be a chicken for sure. Great tension.

  2. Interesting tension. The choice has been made, the time is running out and the action to take is unsettling. Fingers crossed that everything goes well.

  3. I love the sense that Mark is about to get his universe rocked. Seems like he’s being a tad dense about the globe containing simple air, but it’s certainly understandable in the situation. Another great snippet.

    • In some of the scene that I’ve omitted so as to not make this drag out over even more weeks, it’s made clear that the Nelafinari actually hunt for people she can send Travelling and the implication is that she draws sustenance from the energy generated when sentient beings Travel.

  4. Interesting development. I’m intrigued, too. How is air going to win them freedom from Kliin’s pursuit? Gotta know. 🙂

  5. Excellent eight, Veronica. You create a strong sense of otherness that lets the reader know that it’s going to get really interesting. can’t wait for the next snippet.

  6. I love the reality you’re weaving here…and I love imagery and magic that involves breathing. Elemental and simple.

    But still, I’m a little wary about what awaits them…

  7. Choice made, whether he made it consciously or not, now he’s committed. Where will he end up and will she be transported with him… so many questions can’t wait!

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