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From Ghost of the Nile. The goddess Ma’at has just told Periseneb she only wants him to complete his journey home…Periseneb is speaking:
“That’s all? Show up two-hundred years late and say, here I am? Who would know me now? Who would care? I have no place there, Great One.” His voice cracked a little on the last sentence and he clamped his lips closed, taking a deep breath. Thinking about the simple dreams he’d cherished as a man hurt like a knife to the heart. All gone, turned to dust.
Leaving the chair, she walked to him and the scent of her blue lotus perfume was calming. “Complete the journey and act as your heart dictates.”
The Story:
1550 BCE
Betrayed, murdered, and buried without proper ceremony, Egyptian warrior Periseneb is doomed to roam the gray deserts of the dead as a ghost for all eternity.
But then the goddess of truth offers him a bargain: return to the world of the living as her champion for 30 days. If he completes his mission, he’ll be guaranteed entry into Paradise. Periseneb agrees to the bargain but, when he returns to the living world, two hundred years have passed and nothing is quite as he expected.
Neithamun is a woman fighting to hang onto her family’s estate against an unscrupulous nobleman who desires the land as well as the lady. All seems lost until a mysterious yet appealing ex-soldier, Periseneb, appears out of nowhere to help her fight off the noble’s repeated attacks.
Meanwhile, Periseneb’s thirty days are rushing by, and he’s powerless against the growing attraction between himself and Neithamun. But their love can never be. For his Fate is to return to the Afterlife, and Death cannot wed with Life…
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Don’t argue with a goddess, lad. Just go back and follow your heart!
He makes a valid point. (But up until now I thought “complete your journey home” meant “into the afterlife.”) Great snippet — the perfume is a nice touch.
How cruelly the Gods dabble in mere mortal lives. I’m with Ed on this one: don’t argue, it will only make things worse.
Beautiful scene, Veronica, poignant, elegant, and heart-wrenching. On a side note, I LOVE the cover!
What a premise! Two hundred years have passed. Veronica, it’s possible this story will top the other wonderful stories I have written by you.
What if his heart is saying “don’t look back”? Because that’s what it sounds like. The place must be all different now.
He’s grabbed my sympathy
Oh, that poor boy. I suspect (because I’m a Veronica Scott fan) that she has a happy ending in mind for him, but it can’t be easy to follow her instructions while trying to navigate a different time . . .
Great last line! A perfect title for your snippet, too!
Oh, that was poignant! I feel for the guy, but when the goddess with lovely perfume asks, you can’t say no.
Wonderful excerpt, Veronica! You sure know how to make readers sympathize with a character. Love the timeless qualities your characters have. I get the feeling, too, that the goddess is not going to be insensitive to his predicament.
Also, I really like that blurb. It’s succinct and compact, lays out the main plot points yet leaves the resolution open-ended. I can’t write succinct like that 🙂
I think Ma’at knows more than she’s letting on here (well, yeah, she’s a goddess after all, but still…). But second chances like these come with price tags attached usually.
Great snippet, Veronica! Talk about heartache. 🙂
Beautifully written scene. You can really sense his pain, and as always, you leave on a note that has us begging for more.
Great snippet, the words just rolled 🙂 what a gorgeous cover too!
The detail of the perfume was exquisite.
Ooh, nice writing here, Veronica. Now she’s given him the privilege to follow his heart – oh, goodness, wonder where he winds up going with this? I liked the sensory detail of the lotus perfume too.
just show up and say here I am? I love that line. great insight into his character and a slight peek at his humor
I certainly emphasize with him. Poor guy. I hope he gets another chance at life. Regular life, I mean.
I love the details in this, particularly the blue lotus perfume. That’s a scent I wouldn’t mind trying.
Two hundred years is very late… but he has a good excuse, after all.
Nice snippet–love the detail about the perfume.
Thanks for the comments and kind words! I really enjoy writing my tales of ancient Egypt so I’m glad you all like the snippets. I’m moving soon, on short notice so things are kind of crazy at my house, trying to pack and etc., while also keeping the writing going. I’ll probably continue with excerpts from GHOST for another week or two.
This sounds like a fantastic book! I feel so badly for him and wish him his HEA–even beyond the Afterlife. Can’t a Goddess make exceptions in such cases? 🙂
It almost seems like the goddes already know what awaits him or at least the possibility. Enjoyed the snippet. I have this on my Kindle. Can’t wait to read the full story. 🙂
Oh, I can hardly wait to read this. Just to find the time! It’s on my Kindle…waiting… Great snippet, Veronica. Lordy, how you’ve tapped into their emotions!
Great snippet, I can feel his emotion.
I felt like I was there. I could smell the perfume, and see her as she walked across the room. Great scene! Very descriptive.
Huh, he’s got a good point there. I’m still curious as to what she’s up to though. I feel like she has an ace up her sleeve she’s not telling him about. Definitely intrigued. Great snippet.
I love this: Show up two-hundred years late and say, here I am.