Bitten By an Alien Eel Weekend Writing Warriors

Warriors logo revisedHere’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…a fun way to sample new books and find new authors! (Also welcome to the Sunday Snippet visitors!)

From my new, best selling science fiction romance Star Cruise: Marooned.

Last week the only other people on the beach suddenly took off, leaving their equipment behind on the planet. Skipping ahead, Meg goes to their own shuttle to talk to the officer in charge, Drewson, but he’s….busy with a passenger in the private cabin. He tells her to call the ship herself if she’s so worried. Meg is now on the flight deck, after getting cut off during her attempt to call their ship:

          The panel indicated someone else had entered the shuttle. Callina’s voice came over the internal com, “Meg, are you here?”

She flipped the switch. “I’m in the cockpit – what do you need?” 

            “Mr. Thomsill sent me to get you and the medkit. Sharmali’s been bitten by some kind of eel thing and she’s bleeding really bad.”

            “I’ll be right down.” Meg rose, staring at the now quiet com board.  With mischievous amusement, she piped the ship-to-ship and general hailing frequencies directly to the luxury cabin, set at high volume. If the ship did call again, Drewson was going to know it.

UPDATE: I can see from the early comments that maybe a bit more explanation is in order – passenger Sharmali is a drama queen and the book begins with her making a huge fuss over something minor….and causing Meg a lot of irritation. Also, at this point Meg believes the sonic barriers are up  at the beach and therefore the eels couldn’t possibly have been where the passengers are located. But even drama queens have real crises sometimes…Meg’s had a lot on her plate up to this point!. She’s human and not having the best day….

And as to her actions re Drewson, the previous weeks’ excerpts showed that he’d turned OFF the coms, which was never done, so he could have privacy with a female passenger for some off-limits activities, and gave Meg a very hard time about wanting to call the ship, which she isn’t supposed to do, being staff not flight crew…..I will accept the comment about her actions being a bit passive aggressive though. Gotta agree with that!

MaroonedFinal-FJM_High_Res_1800x2700The Story:

Meg Antille works long hours on the charter cruise ship Far Horizon so she can send credits home to her family. Working hard to earn a promotion to a better post (and better pay), Meg has no time for romance.

Former Special Forces soldier Red Thomsill only took the berth on the Far Horizon in hopes of getting to know Meg better, but so far she’s kept him at a polite distance. A scheduled stopover on the idyllic beach of a nature preserve planet may be his last chance to impress the girl.

But when one of the passengers is attacked by a wild animal it becomes clear that conditions on the lushly forested Dantaralon aren’t as advertised – the ranger station is deserted, the defensive perimeter is down…and then the Far Horizon’s shuttle abruptly leaves without any of them.

Marooned on the dangerous outback world, romance is the least of their concerns, and yet Meg and Red cannot help being drawn to each other once they see how well they work together. But can they survive long enough to see their romance through? Or will the wild alien planet defeat them, ending their romance and their lives before anything can really begin?

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42 comments on “Bitten By an Alien Eel Weekend Writing Warriors

  1. I love how you’ve been able to intersperse humor into some very tense situations. Nicely done, Veronica!

  2. I wondered why she reacted to horribly bleeding eel-bite with a bit of mischief. But if the lady has a history of being a drama queen, that might explain it. I have a feeling Drewson is about to be interrupted with less fun news. 🙂

  3. I like how you deftly redirect our attention, time and time again. Very nicely done. I know what is coming, and the knowing makes the tension even greater.

  4. Thanks for the comments! I went back and amplified a bit in my writeup for today, to make it more clear that Sharmali IS a drama queen, which some of you surmised. I also clarified that previous excerpts showed Drewson had violated safety rules by turning OFF the coms so he could have a private encounter with a passenger, also a no-no. He was also a PITA to Meg about calling the ship and made her do it, which could get her in trouble on a normal day. So….yeah, a bit passive-aggressive, as Ed remarked, but Meg’s not having a good day here!

    The limits of doing excerpts – sorry to have raised so many questions about my poor heroine. But fun to dialog with my fellow Warriors!

  5. I was wondering if Drewson’s planned activity with the passenger was a separate violation! Thanks for the additional explanations. Yeah, excerpts can be hard sometimes without background info. I always get a kick out of your characters! Sure hope you pick up from here next week!

  6. I love it! (I’d probably have done the same thing with the comm. After all, someone should be there to answer if they call back. *bats eyelashes, all innocent-like*)

  7. Ooh I love a good stranded-in-a-foreign-world story. Drewson must think he’s above the law to try that sort of thing! I saw your comments on Sharmali being a drama queen, and that definitely helps explain Meg’s “mischievous” action – but I think adding in a very brief subtle reminder of the drama-queen-ness would keep the foundation of this scene really strong.

    Something like: Meg thinking “Of course she has…” before saying she’d be right down would show that Meg’s actually present in the situation instead of not paying attention to what Callina was saying in order to focus on getting one up on Drewson (which is what I originally thought).

    I can see that this is going to be a turning point for the story, and I’m intrigued to read more! Especially about the romance in a dangerous place!

  8. Bwahahahaha! Have sex while they’re having an emergency, will he? Very well, he better get his ass in gear when needed. Great snippet, Veronica. I love her deviousness. 🙂

  9. Yeah, I did find her reaction to the eel bite news a bit odd, but I can see that if I’d read the book up to this point it would make perfect sense. I have a feeling Drewson is going to be very rudely interrupted. Serves him right!

  10. Eel bites… in the cabin? Umm, I’ve heard of some really strange stuff people try with animals, but… eels? (okay, I know… but given what Drewson was doing, it’s entirely possible that many of the guests were , um… as distract-able) Poor Meg! Sounds like she has her hands full.

    • Ummm, no Officer Drewson and the passenger in the private cabin are engaged in some frisky behavior all right, but just the usual man/woman alone time. Sharmali, the *other* passenger who was bitten by the eel, is at the beach. No connection between her injury and Drewson’s improper fun & games – sorry for the confusion! It can be so hard with just the snippets….it’d be a whole other book if the eels were in the cabin – I agree!

      • Ah…. mea culpa! That said, officer Drewson is clearly not doing his duty to the ship and passengers (as a whole). I still say… poor Meg.

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