A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
So we’ve moved on to the newly Released MAGIC OF THE NILE, which is the sequel to the book I had been sharing excerpts from. Last week we had the first eight sentences. Just so you know, she refused old Hotepre the Crocodile Keeper’s well intentioned suggestion that she attend the festival and he gave up, leaving to enjoy the festivities. I’m going to jump ahead for now, past her first moments of conversation with the extremely handsome and dashing Captain Sahure from Thebes, enjoyable as they were LOL, to the point where he issues an unexpected invitation. Sahure doesn’t realize she’s the high priestess he came to talk to, since she’s not wearing her ceremonial garb, but a more simple dress. (I may have played with the punctuation to make it eight sentences. I think!):
“I noticed the town was preparing for a festival of some kind,” he said, “You don’t attend?”
“It’s in honor of Horus, not Sobek.” An easy answer, which should deflect further questions. Sometimes she wished her defenses weren’t so well honed, so automatic. So imprisoning. Putting her hand on the gate, she pushed the painted gilt panel ajar.
“Well then, I must certainly put in an appearance, since Horus is my patron god.” He peered through the open gate at the deserted temple compound and said, “Will you come with me?”
Ah, that moment of temptation!
As always, I love your comments and feedback. Although this is a published work, the input helps for the future novels…
Here’s the story blurb:
The standalone sequel to Priestess of the Nile…picks up about fifteen years later and tells the tale of Tyema, who was the younger sister in Priestess of the Nile…
After a childhood spent scorned and ignored by her family because of her crippled foot, Tyema was magically healed then installed as the High Priestess of his temple by Sobek the Crocodile God. But Tyema is still haunted by her memories, scarred by the abuse she endured. Despite Sobek’s protection, as an adult she’s become a near recluse inside the temple grounds…
Until Captain Sahure arrives in her remote town, sent from Thebes on an urgent mission for Pharaoh, requiring High Priestess Tyema’s help. From that moment on, her quiet, safe life is upended in ways she never could have expected.
But after a whirlwind romance with Sahure, the two part as Pharaoh orders him to undertake another assignment on Egypt’s dangerous frontier, far from Tyema’s remote town.
Heart-broken, Tyema is ready to return to her life of loneliness, official duties and, now, regret. But the Crocodile God has other plans for his priestess: she must uncover the sorcerer who threatens Pharaoh’s life with black magic. Soon enough, Tyema finds herself thrown into the chaos of Pharoah’s court, neck deep in intrigue and danger. Just when she thinks she can’t take the pressures of a very public court life and her secret investigation for the Crocodile God any longer, Sahure re-enters the scene.
But is her former love there to help or to hinder? Can they resolve their differences and work together to find the dark sorcerer who threatens Pharaoh and Egypt? Will the love between a proud warrior and a shy priestess lead them to a future together?
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The fact that it’s a Horus festival is an excuse, or the crocodile keeper wouldn’t have urged her earlier. so will she, or won’t she?
Like her internal dialogue, her vulnerability.
Beautiful character development. “Sometimes she wished her defenses weren’t so well honed, so automatic. So imprisoning.” That’s some fantastic stuff, Veronica, love it!
Very nice dialogue. I’ve always been interested in Horus – such an intriguing god. I wonder if any of your stories feature Anubis? Great snippet!
Anubis appears in Priestess of the Nile in one scene. Never say never though, I plan to write a lot more of these stories, so anyone might appear!
I love how in tune you are with your characters, Veronica. Does she think he’s brazen for asking, or charming? Oh, the suspense!
Lovely snippet with some great internal dialogue, I’m guessing she’ll go!
love that sentence: “Sometimes she wished her defenses weren’t so well honed, so automatic.” A moment of hesitation and now we’re all left on a cliffhanger, waiting to see what will happen next week 🙂
Glad you all are enjoying the snippet. I will say being asked to attend the festival by dashing warrior Sahure is a lot different than being urged to go by old Hotepre because it would be good for her to get out LOL. I really enjoyed telling this story, I have to admit,
I love all that is happening beneath the spoken words. Great writing.
‘Will you come with me?’ Hmmm…let me think on that for a minute. Um, yes! 😀 Very nicely written, as always, Veronica! Can’t wait for the next excerpt!
Shakesperean here, Veronica. I hear “to be or not to be, that is the question?” All doubts and fears set free await her decision. Beautiful eight.
It is a pivotal moment for her, Charmaine, so true. Altho I’m wildly complimented that my prose reminded you of a Shakespearean moment 🙂
I’m guessing the the part of the exchange you skipped would have given more context for this part, but even from these few sentences I get that the invitation places her in a serious dilemma!
I get into a bad habit of excerpting the entire book in 8 sentence excerpts if I’m not careful so I made myself skip some, yes.
Oh boy, she knew this was coming. I hope she says yes.
Love the exposure of her vulnerability in the moment. Says so much about her. I wonder if she’ll say yes to the invite.
Good set-up for a relationship, I like his self-confidence.
I like the way you hinted at her dissatisfaction — “so imprisoning.” Sounds like Sahure may remedy that.
I wondered what Sobek would think of his priestess going to another god’s festival, but he clearly has bigger fish. ahem, to fry. 😀
LOL, love it, Sarah! I have established in earlier novels that Sobek and Horus have a friendly rivalry of sorts 🙂 Each has his own concerns for sure…and then there’s Amon-Ra on the horizon, so to speak.
Her vulnerability shines through in those inner thoughts. Now will she be tempted and go with him? hmm?
LOL, I skipped over the description of Sahure in full uniform – he’s pretty imposing inaoodway. Tempting….
Is she dressed simple to avoid being noticed? Yet he is intrigued by her natural beauty.
She’s changed out of all the ceremonial wear after her day’s duties are done and into something sensible to go inspect the crocodile ponds etc. Good point that he therefore is intrigued by her beauty 🙂
More than her desire to go with him, is she allowed to do so? Love how you depict her vulnerability through her thoughts. Looking forward to more!
She knows she’s being defensive, but has a hard time stopping–very realistic, and a little sad. But maybe she’ll take a chance, just this once… What’s the worst that could happen? 😉
Ooooh, tough choice! Nice job 🙂
Great snippet. Love her internal dialogue. You can emphasise with her and you know where she is coming from.
Ha! And the question is left hanging in the air! Great 8, Veronica. He has it bad for her! 🙂
Very well-described scene and internal monologue. I also love the idea of having a patron god, like a patron saint.
Wonder if she’s going to go with him. Very nice snippet! Has me curious.
“Will you come with me…” Uh-oh. Decision time.
I like how you set up that she’s careful with her defenses, but now she’s presented with a situation that may cause her to lower those defenses…