A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
The luxury ship Nebula Dream has suffered a middle of the night catastrophe in space. My hero, Nick Jameson, has fought his way to the nearest lifeboat and found chaos.As he’s just about finished loading the lifeboat, businesswoman Mara Lyrae arrives, much to his relief. But she refuses to get on the lifeboat, as there are children in need of rescuing…after a brief argument, Nick sends the lifeboat on its way. He and Mara set out to rescue the children, accompanied by Khevan, a D’nvannae Brother (think bodyguard/assassin sworn to serve an alien goddess).
This snippet is after they’ve reached the family’s cabin and discovered a growing hull breach. Nick and Khevan have cleared a tunnel through the debris trapping the children, and Nick has crawled through. I’ve done a LOT of creative punctuation and some editing. I’ve skipped the part where Gianna begins her crawl through the tunnel in the debris. Nick and Paolo are now alone in the damaged cabin:
Khevan shouted he had Gianna safe, and she and Mara were going into the main corridor. Nick nodded to Paolo, “Go ahead.”
The boy blinked, “My mommy –”
Give the kid credit, he doesn’t want to leave his mother behind. Nick squeezed Paolo’s shoulder, “I’ll check on her – you go ahead.”
“She’s dead, isn’t she?”
Too calm by half, probably in shock. “I don’t know,” Nick said, “If I can get her out, I will, okay?”
Note from me: there’s just a bit more in the cabin to share and then I’ll move ahead a bit in the book and close the loop for you on the fate of Huntington the Bear.
Thanks for all comments and feedback. Much appreciated!
The Story
Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.
All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.
But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?
Amazon Barnes & Noble All Romance eBooks iTunes Google Play Kobo
Yikes! Well, they’re both dealing about as well as can be expected, given the circumstances…great stuff!
Ohhhh, now I’m tearing up, Veronica.
You think Gianna would loan me her bear for a bit?
She does loan it to another character for a brief time, so probably! HUGS!
Oh, this is heart breaking! I always think it’s even more devastating when you run across the children who KNOW what’s happening with a calmness that not even adults can muster sometimes. To imagine that thought in such a tiny mind, without the ability to reason the WHY.
I love your hero! He’s such a great guy in difficult circumstances.
Kids ask the tough questions. Great snippet.
Nick is in a tough situation, but doing a great job. I like that he didn’t lie and pretend everything would be alright. Great snippet.
Nick is handling the situation very well…poor kid, he must be in shock.
the boy being there makes the scene even more emotional… 🙁 well done!
Aw, poor little boy! Sounds like he’s keeping it together, at least for now. I think we all need to be reunited with Huntington the Bear pretty soon here!
It tells us a lot about Nick that he can have so much empathy for the kids in such a dire situation. Great character revelation, Veronica.
Paolo is such a strong little boy, particularly under these circumstances.
Difficult situation, the poor little soul (so well portrayed by you) well done for drawing us all in.
Captured once more by this extraordinary snippet, I’m in awe of how much you say in so few words.
Wow. Just wow. Nicely done!
Nick is such a fantastic hero {sigh}. Great 8!
Awww man. You’re breaking my heart, Veronica. Scenes like this really show so much about characters–young and old. Such bravery. Great work!
Fantastic! This eight was such a rush. Great work!
That’s a hard place to be in. Nicely done.
Thank you very much for all the kind words, especially about Nick. He’s one of my favorite fictional people (if an author can say that about one of her own characters!). He’s had a rough time of it personally, but when disaster strikes, he is THERE. And I tried really hard to get Paolo right…..he feels very responsible for his sister…and Huntington the Bear sort of wrote himself into the plot LOL.
Wonderful touching 8. You really do bring your characters alive with your words. I can see them and feel their pain. Well done.
This is a sigh worthy hero you go there 🙂
aww…I like that he is still trying to soften the blow for the kids. Maybe it’s because if they got the truth he doesn’t think the kids would leave, but whatever his reasons, he makes a great hero because of it.
Very tense, but as always, Nick’s wonderful.
Poor little boy. Maybe he’s trying to stay calm for his sister, or maybe he is in shock.
Oh man… You have me on the edge of my seat, waiting to find out if momma’ gonna be okay.
I like it! I like Mara. She seems very real, both strong and kind.
Thanks for the visit at http://amodernvampire.blogspot.com
Wow Tamara, that’s really cold, lol, I shudder to think there might be any truth to that.
It is always so difficult to deal with children during such a tragedy, especially when they are unnaturally calm. Nick is doing a fantastic job and not talking down to the kids. Great 8
I removed Tamara’s comment that Chelle is referring to. It was quite distressing to me but I’m sure it’s because she hadn’t read previous snippets and so was coming to the story cold. Was about one of the characters, not a personal remark, just to be clear. I do welcome all comments and feedback and a new-to-the-story reader can only work on what I’ve given them in 8 sentences, I get that!
What an emotional scene. Great snippet.
I remember reading this scene. I recall thinking how intense it was–you did a great job writing it, Veronica. 🙂
So sad. That little boy is smart. I’m enjoying the high stakes of the situation.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
Wow, lots of action and emotion here! Well written, thanks for sharing it.