A fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…
The luxury ship Nebula Dream has suffered a middle of the night catastrophe in space. My hero, Nick Jameson, has fought his way to the nearest lifeboat and found chaos.As he’s just about finished loading the lifeboat, businesswoman Mara Lyrae arrives, much to his relief. But she refuses to get on the lifeboat, as there are children in need of rescuing…after a brief argument, Nick sends the lifeboat on its way. He and Mara set out to rescue the children, accompanied by Khevan, a D’nvannae Brother (think bodyguard/assassin sworn to serve an alien goddess).
This snippet is after they’ve reached the family’s cabin and discovered a growing hull breach. Nick and Khevan have cleared a tunnel through the debris trapping the children, and Nick has crawled through. I’ve done a LOT of creative punctuation and some editing. The little girl has already reached safety and her brother has now entered the tunnel.
Nick made sure the boy was well on his way before searching for the missing mother. The beam of the hand lamp swept across a broken, bloody figure on the deck, all the way across the room, lying partially underneath half the ceiling.
Beyond my help. Nick crossed the cabin anyway and felt for a pulse. Finding none, he gently closed the woman’s staring eyes. At least her last sight had been of her two children, safe and unharmed beside the beds, which was some small mercy, Nick supposed. He stood up and took one final look at her. “We’ll take good care of them for you, I promise.”
Thanks for all comments and feedback. Much appreciated!
The Story
Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.
All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.
But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?
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Oh, man. Heavy stuff. Great snippet, Veronica, you’ve really captured the gravity of this event!
Oh no. How sad.
Very emotive snippet, well written.
Tragic scene written so heartbreaking well. 5 Star, Veronica. I prayed she had a pulse but no.
This whole scene is so moving. It was so easy to get caught up in it! And I’ll say again, I love how Nick is both a tough guy when he needs to be and also a gentle guy when he wants to be.
Nick is such a good guy! I’ve said it before, you write great heroes, Veronica. 🙂
It’s awesome that he takes the time to empathize with the dead woman and make that promise. Another tense, emotional scene. Great work, Veronica.
Nick is such a great hero, a perfect blend of strength and compassion.
Nick shows such wonderful compassion in such a difficult situation. Great hero. Great 8.
I love how Nick treats the dead mother with so much respect and makes this lovely promise. Another tense and emotional scene. Great snippet.
A sweet and poignant moment. Lovely scene. Thank you for sharing this one.
so sad and so well conveyed, totally feel the drama here.
Wow, what a terribly sad scene. I love his gesture of closing her eyes and assuring her that he’d look after her children. Wonderful work!
Very poignant excerpt. Lovely writing.
Even though I figured the mother was gone, that still sounds like a horrible way to go. I hope it was quick, at least.
This snippet gives such insight into Nick’s character, especially his promise at the end. Great 8!
This scene says a lot about Nick, and all of it good.
Heartbreaking, Veronica . . . more please! 🙂
It’ll be so heartbreaking for the kids. I do love Nick. He went back to check to see if he could help her, and his declaration to keep the kids safe was sweet for a final goodbye.
aww…telling the kids will be hard. I’m glad he got them to safety and his promise to take care of them was touching.
Insane day but I had to make sure I got here to read the next installment – so sad.
Always a pleasure reading your snippets, everything is so vivid.
A tear slips down this momma’s cheek. Sniff sniff. This is sad.
Yikes! Oh my gosh, you gave me the shivers. Great eight!
Hi Veronica, I just ordered The Wreck.. . .BTW all my books are 50% off on All Romance for this Cyber Monday, if you’re interested. Such a deal! Take care , my friend.
Thanks, Char, and I hope you’ll enjoy the book!
Finding the dead mom broke my heart. I like that Nick knew it was hopeless in her being alive, but crossed the room anyway to check (because he promised her children). I sense sincere bonding with him and the kids throughout the rest of the book 🙂
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
Sad excerpt. 🙁 Great job.
Oh no. What a tragic excerpt. 😔
I like the concern that Nick showed for the children and their dead mother. If you don’t subscribe to the theory that the spirits of the dead simply cease to exist or are immediately transferred ‘somewhere other’, the mother may well appreciate the care as well.