Did He Make It? WRECK OF THE NEBULA DREAM Weekend Writing Warriors

WeWriWa buttonA fun way to sample new books and find new writers! Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…

The luxury ship Nebula Dream has suffered a middle of the night catastrophe in space. My hero, Nick Jameson, has fought his way to the nearest lifeboat and found chaos.As he’s just about finished loading the lifeboat, businesswoman Mara Lyrae arrives, much to his relief. But she refuses to get on the lifeboat, as there are children in need of rescuing…after a brief argument, Nick sends the lifeboat on its way. He and Mara set out to rescue the children, accompanied by Khevan, a D’nvannae Brother (think bodyguard/assassin sworn to serve an alien goddess).

They’ve reached the family’s cabin and discovered a growing hull breach. This snippet is after the children have crawled to safety and Mara and Kevan have taken them  into the main corridor. Nick fights his way through the collapsing debris tunnel, and out of the cabin, where he discovers the hull breach has worsened. The blast doors are closing…(I skipped a little bit of the struggle and edited a bit here.)

          The escaping air was a solid force, pulling Nick toward certain death.

           Locking his grip on Nick’s wrist, Khevan pulled with a superhuman effort, yanking the captain through the portal to the other side. They fell to the deck as the blast door slammed shut and locked, inches away from their feet.

            The sudden silence was deafening – Nick’s ears rang from the changes in air pressure. Mara and the two children stared at him from an alcove where she’d wedged herself, keeping them safe, leaving Khevan free to concentrate on Nick’s rescue.

            Exhausted by the battle against the escaping atmosphere, Nick rolled slowly over, covering his eyes with one arm, breathing deeply.

            “Are you okay?” Mara clutched Gianna closer to her.

Note from me: next week the fate of Huntington the Bear and that will probably be my last excerpt from WRECK.

All feedback and comments appreciated!

Wreck-of-the-Nebula-DreamFinalMedThe Story
Traveling unexpectedly aboard the luxury liner Nebula Dream on its maiden voyage across the galaxy, Sectors Special Forces Captain Nick Jameson is ready for ten relaxing days, and hoping to forget his last disastrous mission behind enemy lines. He figures he’ll gamble at the casino, take in the shows, maybe even have a shipboard fling with Mara Lyrae, the beautiful but reserved businesswoman he meets.

All his plans vaporize when the ship suffers a wreck of  Titanic proportions. Captain and crew abandon ship, leaving the 8000 passengers stranded without enough lifeboats and drifting unarmed in enemy territory. Aided by Mara, Nick must find a way off the doomed ship for himself and several other innocent people before deadly enemy forces reach them or the ship’s malfunctioning engines finish ticking down to self destruction.

But can Nick conquer the demons from his past that tell him he’ll fail these innocent people just as he failed to save his Special Forces team? Will he outpace his own doubts to win this vital race against time?

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31 comments on “Did He Make It? WRECK OF THE NEBULA DREAM Weekend Writing Warriors

  1. Very nice! I love the tension of the aftermath! Great action, too! My only suggestion would be limiting the “-ing” clauses. They are the bane of my own writing, so this is an instance of preaching what I don’t practice. 😀 Then again, sometimes I edit things to add MORE “-ing” phrases when editing for 8 sentences, so yeah….

    Regardless, this is an AWESOME piece! Thanks so much for sharing!

  2. Wow! That was intense! You should have seen how fast I bolted out of my seat with that first line LOL. You’re very good with description. I can feel his ears popping from the pressure. Great job!

    Keep smiling,

  3. Pingback: Weekend Writing Warriors – December 21, 2014 | Amalie Cantor

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