Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…a fun way to sample new books and find new authors! (Also welcome to the Sunday Snippet visitors!)
I’ve switched to an excerpt from a brand new novella set in my version of ancient Egypt, working title Healer of the Nile, which is for a boxed set later this year.
Tadenhut, elder son of a noble house and heir to the Hunting Cat estate, has been gravely injured in a battle against Pharaoh’s enemies and brought home to die. Mehyta, a woman from the estate’s village who has skills as a healer, has been ordered to assist the physicians in his care.
This excerpt comes quite a few days after last week’s. Having used her healer’s magic to assess his injuries, she finds herself dreaming of Tadenhut, who remains in a coma in the real world. Her dream takes place on a battlefield, after the combat has ended:
Her path took her toward the center of the area, where a standard with Pharaoh’s cartouche leaned drunkenly against a wrecked chariot, one horse dead, the other nowhere to be seen. A man in a soldier’s uniform sat on the tail of the vehicle and as she drew nearer she wasn’t surprised to see it was Tadenhut. Knife in hand, he was whittling a piece of wood, carving it into the shape of a cat.
Setting aside the knife and the half-finished statue, he rose to his feet as she came nearer. Eyes wide, brows lifted, he said, “Who are you and why are you in this awful place?”
His voice was deep, resonant, a bit startling to hear after all this time in his unresponsive state in the real world. She took a swift glance at his legs, seeing both were strong and whole. If this was his dreamspace, as she believed, he might not realize the extent of his own injuries. “I’m a healer, my lord.”
He gestured at their surroundings,” No one to heal here, my lady, only the dead.”
“And you.”
I don’t have a cover or a blurb for this one yet. but there will be copious quantities of magic and a bit of romance, of course. Locked in his coma, Tadenhut isn’t as ready to give up his hold on life as everyone assumes, especially after this meeting in the dreamspace. The novella took on a sort of Cinderella-by-the-Nile air in some ways as I wrote it…I’ll share one or two more excerpts from this and then move back to science fiction romance.
Writing comady now, are you? Let’s hope some of the romance occurs in the real world, not just in his coma state.
He does wake up during the course of the novella!
I like this. It’s a good basis for a story.
Oh … interesting last sentence.
This sounds like a really great story! Interesting that she can communicate with him while he’s in a coma. That creates some intriguing possibilities.
Excellent! I love this idea and can’t wait to read on.
How very intriguing! So the story takes place in this dream place, and he doesn’t (yet) know that he is gravely injured?
Right, he’s unaware of his true condition.
VERY cool. I love that idea.
No one to heal here, my lady, only the dead. Great line. doesn’t sound good for him those. I guess he realizes the extent of his injuries.
Love the last line. Your snippet is evocative. The reader is right there in the moment and the dead horse grabbed me by the throat. Realistic, but still heartbreaking. Fabulous snippet!
Fascinating. The dreamspace captured my imagination and placed me in the scene.
Great scene! Beautiful visuals and an enticing ending. Really love this. 🙂
I agree this is very visual. Your writing is clear about details yet you don’t overwhelm us with TOO much detail. That’s such a great skill. Definitely looking forward to more of this WIP 🙂
I like the contrast between the “real” world and the dream place.
Oh, i like this idea that she can visit him in his dream space/coma. That’s awesome, Veronica. I did find a typo, “he was whittling a piece of word”. I think you want the word “wood” instead. 😉 Great snippet.
Oops! Fixed that, thanks, Siobhan 🙂 The novella is at my Editor right now so we’ll see if she catches it….
It was a fun story to write, glad people are enjoying the excerpts so far! There are quite a few plot twists to go but Tadenhut does awaken, with her help, although not at this time. She has to go consult the god of Fate and then…..
I love the idea that she can travel into his mind. Does he have any clue where he really is? Can’t wait to read more.
This is very intriguing and has me all sorts of curious. Cant wait for the set to release
Took a wack at the hieroglyphs on your drawing.
first panel: nb nhh nw (Lord Eternal see)
‘w gs (alone, only?)
f tw nb (Lord of all of us ? he, you, lord)
n hpr nb(3 pots above) ( being or form, in the name of the Lord)
then it repeats backwards.
So it’s a prayer, something like
Look eternal lord, our only lord, being in the name of the lord, our only lord, eternal lord.
Probably wrong, but a fun way to spend an hour with “how to read Egyptian hieroglyphs”
How fun! Sort of like a sub snippet 🙂 I can’t take any credit for the hieroglyphics, as this is a detail from a reproduction papyrus painting I bought but I’m glad at least it did make some sense. Thanks for sharing, Amelia!
I’m intrigued to know more. Love the last lines.
I really like this story so far. Ancient Egypt is such a rich, fertile ground for stories.
I agree, Carrie-Anne, and the time period really calls to me.I love adding in the magic and the gods. I have five books published in the loosely connected series, so this novella will be the 6th story, and I have several more in mind. One might spin off into a series on its own!
I like it, Veronica! I adore (silly though it may be) Cinderella sort of tales… lol
Ooh, I love this snippet. How intriguing, her meeting him in his dreamspace. Gives him one more reason to wake up, yes? I love the visual of him whittling a cat while sitting on a wrecked chariot.
I love this in so many ways! The description of the scene, the conversation, the last pair of lines, the whole shamanic-journey type thing….
This sounds great–love the description and time period!
Oh this just got REALLY interesting. I’m definitely hooked on wanting to see how this goes. That last line gives so many possibilities on how this is going to go. I love it! I’ve always been a fan of setting plots into dream spaces, you can have so much fun with those settings. Great snippet!
He might not know how injured he is but he seems to understand that the place isn’t right at least. I like her answer, she is really straight to the point.
What a terrible place to be trapped in! I hope she can rescue him soon.
I find it interesting that he’s whittling a cat sculpture, since they were so sacred perhaps he is aware of the severity of his injuries and that he needs some kind of help in order to survive. Love the symbolism of this dream encounter.
I’m very intrigued! I love ancient Egypt stories. Nice job and hook at the end.
Nice, love the scene you’ve created here. So visual! Hoping for a smooth rescue! 🙂
Omg, I’m already in love with this story. Wonderfully written excerpt! I have such a weakness for the ‘nursing the hero back to health’ kind of stories. This one promises to be fabulous!
You really set this scene well. I can hear their voices echoing in the room and smell the musty air. And those last two words pack a lot of power in them.
Nice!!!
Tadenhut is very calm in the midst of calamity. That says a lot about him and the life he’s lived, I think.
I’m a totally sucker for telepathic love stories (Might be part of why I love my Vulcans so much!), and Egypt. Definitely looking forward to next week! =D
Ooh, I like it. How will he react upon learning of his injuries? I love this scene you crafted!