Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…a fun way to sample new books and find new authors! (Also welcome to the Sunday Snippet visitors!)
I’ve switched to an excerpt from a brand new novella set in my version of ancient Egypt, working title Healer of the Nile, which is for a boxed set later this year.
Tadenhut, elder son of a noble house and heir to the Hunting Cat estate, has been gravely injured in a battle against Pharaoh’s enemies and brought home to die. Mehyta, a woman from the estate’s village who has skills as a healer, has been ordered to assist the physicians in his care.
Having used her healer’s magic to assess his injuries, she finds herself dreaming of Tadenhut, who remains in a coma in the real world. Her dream takes place on a battlefield, after the combat has ended and we’re going on with the next sentences in the scene we started last week. Tadenhut is speaking:
“I half suspect I’m dead – this abandoned battlefield is like a strange territory in the afterlife. But in that case why hasn’t my family performed the proper rituals and sent my ka on its way to be judged? Certainly my father can well afford the expense. I committed no crimes I’m aware of. Perhaps no one knows where my body lies.” Rolling his shoulders, he made her a courtly bow. “Forgive my manners, I’m Tadenhut, captain of Pharaoh’s charioteers and heir to Hunting Cat estate.”
“I know.”
He gave her a sharp glance, “Are you sent by the gods to take me to the afterlife?”
“I do my best to heal the injured, my lord, not kill them.”
I don’t have a cover or a blurb for this one yet. but there will be copious quantities of magic and a bit of romance, of course. Locked in his coma, Tadenhut isn’t as ready to give up his hold on life as everyone assumes, especially after this meeting in the dreamspace. The novella took on a sort of Cinderella-by-the-Nile air in some ways as I wrote it…I’ll share one or two more excerpts from this and then move back to science fiction romance.
If you want more ancient Egypt and can’t wait for this novella, my most recent release in the connected series was Ghost of the Nile….each book is a standalone story.
The story for Ghost of the Nile:
Betrayed, murdered, and buried without proper ceremony, Egyptian warrior Periseneb is doomed to roam the gray deserts of the dead as a ghost for all eternity.
But then the goddess of truth offers him a bargain: return to the world of the living as her champion for 30 days. If he completes his mission, he’ll be guaranteed entry into Paradise. Periseneb agrees to the bargain but, when he returns to the living world, two hundred years have passed and nothing is quite as he expected.
Neithamun is a woman fighting to hang onto her family’s estate against an unscrupulous nobleman who desires the land as well as the lady. All seems lost until a mysterious yet appealing ex-soldier, Periseneb, appears out of nowhere to help her fight off the noble’s repeated attacks.
Meanwhile, Periseneb’s thirty days are rushing by, and he’s powerless against the growing attraction between himself and Neithamun. But their love can never be. For his Fate is to return to the Afterlife, and Death cannot wed with Life…
I’m very intrigued by this story!
This sounds fascinating. I really like your use of dialogue.
I like her reply. interesting story.
I love the last line! From what I’ve seen of her so far she has a lot of spirit.
I love the premise of this passage. Using some sort of magic to talk to a man in a coma she’s trying to heal. I lay money she falls in love with him, too.
I’ve been reading Donald Maass, who feels that page turners are born out of micro-tension, which arises from internal conflicts that pull a character in multiple directions at once. This premise absolutely bristles with the opportunity for micro-tension!
Ooh, nice. I like this story, Veronica. 🙂 I love the idea of him thinking he’s dead, and her reaching out to him via a dream. 🙂
This story is a(nother) winner, Veronica. Nicely done! Am going to miss it. Hopefully you share more closer to release!
this snippet made me smile, the confusion about whether or not he is dead (in his mind) and the last line…it’s a winner!
Aw, the poor guy thinks he’s dead and missed out on the necessary rituals. So glad she can communicate with him, though I wonder if he believes her?
You amaze me with your imagination. What a magnificent scene. I love the aura of a healer’s dream. You make it live.
Great scene setting and interaction here, and a fascinating idea. Nice work!
He’s very matter of fact about being dead. A great reminder of how different this culture is. Love the story – magic, romance and ancient history- three of my faves!
I love the last line, in a way it promises some great dialogue between them! Great snippet, Veronica!
Thanks for the comments, glad the scene is working for readers! I really enjoy taking the ancient Egyptian myths and beliefs, as best I understand them, and putting my own magical spin on them. There’s quite a bit of magic in this story. It might become the start of a series set on the Hunting Cat estate; I’ll have to see. Always so many stories, so little time!
He is very polite.
I like her answer!
Mehyta is a pretty positive person! Earlier in the story she gets quite irritated that all the discussion around Tadenhut is about how soon he’ll die….
What a fantastic snippet! I love how cavalier Tadenhut is about his own presumed death…and the bow he gives her when introducing himself. Loving their interaction and can’t wait for the next snippet!
Such an awesome premise. I already love these characters! Very excited to read more, Veronica! 🙂
I like how you have the afterlife as a constant presence in this scene. It gives the whole thing that mystic feel.
Ha! Love her response:D
That last line should make him wonder where he is. Enjoyed the snippet.
I love this girl’s spirit. I’m sure he’s confused though.
He says he suspects he’s dead–so he must know he could still be alive. But he seems to be assuming the worst. I get the feeling he’s afraid he *is* dead.
This sounds like a great story, and I love the last line.
I just love this story. Keeps getting better.
He can’t be dead, but he seems worried that he is. Intriguing!
With her on his side, he almost has to get better. It’s good he has someone to believe in him, and connect him to life.
Intriguing premise, masterfully handled! =D
Tadenhut is in for a surprise when he realizes he’s not dead. another lovely peek
“I do my best to heal the injured, my lord, not kill them.”
Something about that last line reminded me of Marc Antony with a twist: “I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.”
Thank you very much, high praise indeed!
I’m absolutely loving this story! Tadenhut thinks he’s dead, go figure. Love her comment back to him, now he’s wondering…. Great job Veronica, another great scene!
I knew he was not going to die so easily. That’s a turn for the better!
Love that last line of her response! He’s bound to be in for a rude awakening soon, or should I say a wake up call out of a coma? My imagination is already running to how this is going to play out. Great snippet!
This is a really intriguing exchange. I’m looking forward to seeing more.