Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the participants sharing excerpts today…a fun way to sample new books and find new authors! (Also welcome to the Sunday Snippet visitors!)
I’ve switched to an excerpt from a brand new novella set in my version of ancient Egypt, working title Healer of the Nile, which is for a boxed set later this year.
Tadenhut, elder son of a noble house and heir to the Hunting Cat estate, has been gravely injured in a battle against Pharaoh’s enemies and brought home to die. Mehyta, a woman from the estate’s village who has skills as a healer, has been ordered to assist the physicians in his care.
Having used her healer’s magic to assess his injuries, she finds herself dreaming of Tadenhut, who remains in a coma in the real world. Her dream takes place on a battlefield, after the combat has ended and we’re going on with the next sentences in the scene we were on last week. Mehyta is still speaking.
“Why do you linger here in this awful place, when all others are dead?”
“I can’t leave – I’ve tried but when I get to the edge of the battlefield, something stops me and I find myself right back here. All my original fallen comrades in this place have moved on, out of my sight, leaving me with the rotting bones of my cursed enemies and the horses.” He gave her a crooked grin and sat on the broken chariot once more, retrieving the knife and the carving. “So I sit and whittle, and wait. Perhaps I’ve been waiting for you?”
“You remember your injury?”
He didn’t glance at her but for a moment his hands were stilled. A muscle twitched in his jaw. Then he scraped the knife along the piece of wood and shavings fell, “Was I injured?”
I don’t have a cover or a blurb for this one yet. but there will be copious quantities of magic and a bit of romance, of course. Locked in his coma, Tadenhut isn’t as ready to give up his hold on life as everyone assumes, especially after this meeting in the dreamspace. The novella took on a sort of Cinderella-by-the-Nile air in some ways as I wrote it…I’ll share one or two more excerpts from this and then move back to science fiction romance.
If you want more ancient Egypt and can’t wait for this novella, my most recent release in the connected series was Ghost of the Nile….each book is a standalone story.
The story for Ghost of the Nile:
Betrayed, murdered, and buried without proper ceremony, Egyptian warrior Periseneb is doomed to roam the gray deserts of the dead as a ghost for all eternity.
But then the goddess of truth offers him a bargain: return to the world of the living as her champion for 30 days. If he completes his mission, he’ll be guaranteed entry into Paradise. Periseneb agrees to the bargain but, when he returns to the living world, two hundred years have passed and nothing is quite as he expected.
Neithamun is a woman fighting to hang onto her family’s estate against an unscrupulous nobleman who desires the land as well as the lady. All seems lost until a mysterious yet appealing ex-soldier, Periseneb, appears out of nowhere to help her fight off the noble’s repeated attacks.
Meanwhile, Periseneb’s thirty days are rushing by, and he’s powerless against the growing attraction between himself and Neithamun. But their love can never be. For his Fate is to return to the Afterlife, and Death cannot wed with Life…
You’ve written Tadenhut’s quiet, tense calmness perfectly. There’s a lot going on in his mind, even though he’s letting none of it out.
I love the concept that this is all taking place in a dream. It makes me wonder what is going on in Tadenhut’s mind while he’s in the coma.
Your dialogue is masterful Veronica. So much is revealed incidentally.
I’m wondering about the twitch. It makes me think that he’s hiding something about his injuries.
He’s a bright boy–figuring out that perhaps he’s been waiting for her. 🙂 Wonderful writing, as always, Veronica!
He may know very well how seriously he is injured but is both fighting the “inevitable” and denying it. Going to the edge and not being able to go further may be that he doesn’t want to go that route. When she mentions his injury he may be denying it despite her affirming that it is. Love the intensity and the dialogue.
Very captivating voice. I’m intrigued.
Some deep and moving dialogue and interaction here. Nicely done, Veronica!
Really interesting the way he’s trapped. Nice!
I love how he hasn’t lost his sense of humor (and whittling skills) in spite of something awful happening to him. These are great characters!
I like how there’s a scene from her dream. I wonder if he really is trapped or just doesn’t want to leave the battlefield?
Fabulous – I’ve missed a few – so I need to get caught back up.
Oh, Ms. V, you are a wonder. Your snippet comes alive with the beautiful dialogue.
You always manage to make characters from ancient times so relate-able! I really like how easy it is to care about your characters. Anxious for the next excerpt 🙂
That little hesitation at the end speaks volumes. So well done. This is a fascinating story.
I love his hesitation at the end. It makes me want to read more! Nicely done.
brilliant snippet. I love the last line and how he freezes as if learning something new
Blissful ignorance?
That hesitation makes me wonder… what is he hiding? Great snippet, thank you!
I’m so pleased people are enjoying the story and today’s snippet – thank you for the comments! I’m under deadline to get my next SFR novel to the copy editor tomorrow, so I’ll make the rounds on our snippets later. But I’ll be there, promise!
Oooh! Love how you’re using the dream world here.
I hope you continue to share excerpts from this story for many weeks to come because I’m so enjoying it! Beautifully written scene. 🙂
So much packed into just a snippet! I love that she understands him so well in the dream world. And yes, perhaps he has been waiting for her. 🙂
Great! I love his reaction and the innocent, “Was I injured?” Was he truly unaware, or is he toying with her? Can’t wait for next week.
Your writing always draws me right into the scene. I can’t wait until this one is available. 🙂
I like how he’s so calm, and it’s smart of him to realize he may have been waiting for her.
I really like how they’re connecting in dreamland. I’m enjoying your Egyptian books and really looking forward to reading this next one.
Love it! You’ve written his reaction to her question perfectly.
I think he remembers something. Something he doesn’t want to think about . . .
Wha?! What?! That last line! Great snippet.
I love the look into his mind. He seems like the strong, silent type.
It’s got an ethereal quality to it, which, I suspect, is exactly what you’re going for. Very nice.
Great snippet and I love the line “he gave her a crooked grin and sat on the broken chariot once more…” Gotta watch out for those crooked smiles!
This is so very mysterious. I wonder what has him stuck here.
I feel like he knows he’s injured and is just playing dumb. The mysterious atmosphere, keeping him stuck there has me fascinated. Can’t wait for the next snippet.
Oooh, I love his reaction to her question! That definitely threw him but he’s trying to play it off and act calm. And there, I would say, is the reason he can’t leave. He’s in denial of what happened, and it’s blocking him from either passing on, or waking up. Another great snippet!