Here’s the link to the Weekend Writing Warriors central page, so you can visit all the
participants sharing excerpts today…a fun way to sample new books and find new authors! (Also welcome to the Sunday Snippet visitors!)
I’m continuing on with my latest release, Star Survivor. (Blurb below the excerpt.) I’ve jumped way ahead, to a point where Twilka and Khevan are on the run, trying to evade other assassins, since the Red Lady has a kill order out on Twilka. This snippet is the next day, after the conversation the two were having in last week’s excerpt. I’m trying not to give spoilers! The couple are on the run in a bad area of town, waiting for their friend Nick to arrive. Khevan has been talking to another D’nvannae Brother while Twilka watches suspiciously from close by. (Edited a bit from published version):
Khevan moved to walk away from his compatriot and the other man deployed a curved knife so smoothly the movement seemed like magic.
Khevan shoved the man’s blow aside with a sharp defensive parry and the opponents retreated a few feet from each other, faces set in grim lines, clearly about to duel in the street.
There were gasps and a few screams, and many of the more timid in the crowd surged to flee the immediate vicinity, temporarily knocking Twilka aside. Clawing her way to a new vantage point, she saw Khevan had his own knife out now and had clearly drawn blood. Another flurry of clashing knives and well-aimed kicks had her scared to death, clenched fist to mouth. She wanted desperately to find a way to help Khevan, but only an idiot got between two deadly men.
“Unusual sport, to see two of them fight,” said a man behind her, “Twenty credits on the younger Brother.”
“Fight won’t last long enough to know who wins,” said the bald man next to the first speaker, “Temple forces will be here any minute now, break it up, make them take the quarrel to a private place. Bad for the Red Lady’s reputation, her men fighting among themselves.”
“Over a woman,” the original would-be gambler explained, “Heard them talking before the knives came out.”
The blurb:
The survivors of a terrible wreck meet again—but this time only one can survive.
They survived an iconic spaceship wreck together. She never expected to see him again … especially not armed to kill her.
Twilka Zabour is an interstellar celebrity. She built on her notoriety as a carefree Socialite who survived the terrible wreck of the Nebula Dream, and launched a successful design house. But now the man who gave meaning to her life, then left her, is back–this time for the worst of reasons. Will he kill her … or help her survive?
D’nvannae Brother Khevan survived the Nebula Dream in the company of a lovely, warm woman, only to be pulled away from her, back into his solitary life in the service of the Red Lady. Now Twilka’s within his reach again–for all the wrong reasons. Khevan will do everything within his power to discover why Twilka has been targeted for assassination, and to save her.
But Khevan is not Twilka’s only pursuer. Will allies Nick and Mara Jameson arrive in time to aid the couple, or will Khevan and Twilka’s ingenuity be all that stands between them and death?
Oh gosh, I can feel her heart pounding as she watches. And then the two men beside her talk so casually about it. Great contrast! 🙂
So are they really fighting about her, as the bystander thought, or is there a more mysterious reason for the knife play?
Love the matter-of-fact conversation over the life-and-death battle. Super snippet, as always, Veronica.
The background conversation is a great contrast to Twilka’s fear. Great snippet!
on the edge of my seat over here. Can’t wait to find out what happens next.
Wonderful snippet. I loved the conversation- they’re so detached from the whole thing. True spectators.
Nice scene! Love the reveal of info from bystanders to heighten the tension. Great job!
Uh oh. This makes me wonder if Twilka knows Khevan is in the employ of the Red Lady or if this is how she finds out. I have to hurry up and read this book. It’s in my Kindle.
Now are they fighting over Twilka or something else? And, Khevan had better hurry before the Red Lady’s forces arrive.
Ahh. It’s always about a woman, isn’t it? lol. Awesomely written scene, Veronica! Love the drama, the excitement, and the danger!
Knives came out???? – Oh that’s never good. Great snippet. Tweeted.
You deftly paced this snippet from one emotion to another until you have the reader tearing up the page in excitement. A treasure in your writing. Big Hugs, my friend
(Waves to everyone!) Happy New Year! I hope your holidays were terrific…thanks for stopping by, and as always, I appreciate the comments very much 🙂 I’m glad this scene appears to be working for people – yay!
This works so well on many levels: watching from a distance, wondering what’s happening, Twilka’s fear contrasted with the nonchalance of the onlookers. Great snippet!
Great snippet–action packed.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
Wow! Great snippet. Terrific action and response and tension and the comments from the onlookers and…
It adds a whole new level of tension when she finds herself the subject of an unsuspecting overheard conversation 🙂
Fantastic Action! Well done.
Heart-in-mouth moment. Is she the reason for the fight? Great tension.
Right into the action! Love the write up of the fight, interspersed with dialogue of observers. Fighting over a woman, never a good thing, LOL.
The woman’s terror is in great contrast to the casual attitude of the crowd. I like it.
Of course it’s over a woman. Isn’t it always. Nice tension and description of the bystanders. 🙂
Glad she has the sense not to intervene, but I get the feeling the guard showing up will be really bad for her!
This is an expertly crafted scene in every way. Great job!
I’m curious to know if they are fighting about her. Great imagery and what is going on outside the fight scene too.
Knife fight–always exciting. Over a woman?! Taking bets, too. Great scene.
Wonderful scene. Loving the knife fight.